My many job titles

After living here for 7 months my resume looks pretty impressive...
Here are the top 17 most interesting jobs I've taken on since living here... Enjoy!

1.) Director of Campus Development for a consultancy company

2.) Worship Leader at churches

3.) Chef... I specialize in making things from scratch: cookies, salsa, noodles, fudge etc...

4.) Auto Mechanic... I specialize in motorized scooters and things with 2 wheels!

5.) Professional Exterminator... no cockroach has lived long after I laid eye on it!!!

6.) Marriage Counselor.... aparently you don't need to have any marriage experience in order to do this... right?

7.) Employment Consultant... I specialize in writing and reviewing resumes aparently...

8.) Antiabortion Advocate/Crisis Pregnacy Caretaker (this one is not funny!)

9.) Personal Driver... who says a scooter can only hold 2 people...

10.) Communications Anaylist... I specialize in yelling at disfuncational internet companies and rickshaw drivers...

11.) Skype Tech Support... Why call skype's helpline when I can help you figureout how to download skype, call Asia, use a webcam, put headphones into your computer, figureout why there is no sound coming, or indentify what "that" buzzing noise is?

12.) Telephone Hotline Host... I get about 5-10 calls a day where the conversation consists of "HI... so... tell me... 'tell you what'... 'What are you doing?' 'I'm in a meeting is there anything you need?' 'I just haven't heard from you in a long time...' 'I just saw you yesterday...'"

13.) Languist... in this city there are acutally 5 spoken/recognized languages and you never know who will know which one!

14.) Plumber... If the smell lasts longer than a day you have a problem!!

15.) Nutricianist... just the fact that i know what a food pyramid is and that drinking water is good for you makes me qualified for this position...

16.) English Tutor... "say victory"... "ok wictery"...

17.) Rancher... you never know when a cow will cross the line from public to private territory... and you have to be prepared to take action on the streets!